Torn
by TT17
Summary: Oi oi....keine ahnung.....another M and M pairing....sure, but that's not the focus this time....it's kind of a Jupiter story....kind of....


TORN  
Sailor Moon Fan Fiction Work from the head of TT17  
I don't own these characters and am using them without permission. It's just a fan fiction done for purposes unknown.  
  
random mumblings:  
I would die for you  
I would kill for you  
I will steal for you  
I'd do time for you  
I will wait for you  
I'd make room for you  
I'd sink ships for you  
To be close to you  
To be part of you  
'Cause I believe in you  
I believe in you  
I would die for you  
  
  
begin fan fiction:  
"Maestro, if you please..."  
Minako's watching one of her music programs again. I sigh and consume another handful of butter snap pretzels. It's my healthy addiction, although since when is any addiction healthy? That's what Ami would argue. I chide myself for the smile that crossed my face when Ami popped into my head. I then chide myself for chiding myself, I am 19 after all. I don't have to be tied down.  
This, of course, let's loose the flood gate. It's not like Ami would ever notice me. I can be perfectly with Minako. I AM perfectly happy with Minako. And Minako is perfectly happy with me. Yes, Minako and I go together just well. So well that neither of you have ever mentioned the fact that you're...together...to any of the other senshi. What's worse, they're so dense or wrapped up in their own lives none of them can figure it out. Not even Michiru. For sure Michiru would have noticed by now. Or at least Pluto. Or maybe Pluto DOES know and she isn't saying anything because she's Pluto and she never says anything. Maybe she knows out relationship won't last and....  
"Makoto?"  
My head snaps up. "Hm?" I say muffled, butter snap pretzels impeding normal speech.  
"The TV is on the fritz again... I think Artemis knocked the cable off again." A feline voice shouts in, "I did not! Minako must have messed it up when she was fiddling with the VCR!"  
Minako rolls her eyes and pretends to be annoyed. I choke back my own laugh as I head into the main room.  
It's just as Minako said. The TV's a blurry gray static. I settle down to fix it, staring mutely at the mass of wires coming out from behind the television. I suppose it's not a good idea to have a VCR, DVD player, Nintendo game cube, playstation, and a dreamcast all hooked up to the same TV, but....what can I do? I only have one TV.  
Minako and Artemis argue over whose fault it is that this has happened again. I fumble recklessly with the wires a concerned look on my face. I find a white cord which I'm pretty sure is for the cable and stick it into a plug in the VCR. "How's that?" I ask.  
"Still static!" Minako and Artemis say in unison before continuing their argument, as if they never really lost the beat. I grunt. Mechanics were never really my foray. The only person who was ever any good at this was Mamoru....and he's not exactly available right now.  
Oh.  
VCR cable came loose from the television.  
"How's that?"  
"Great!" Unison again. My eyebrow quirks up, as does Minako's, and Artemis blushes. He's caught. The cat might go on and on about what a waste of time Minako's shows are, but we all know he loves them just as much as she does....albeit for different reasons....  
"Uh...great...." Artemis stumbles for a recovery, "...because now maybe you'll be quiet and I can get some work done." "Oh, you need to get some work done, Artemis." Minako and him are at it again.  
"Yes, I have a lot to do...I've already wasted enough time as it is..."  
"Can you believe this cat, Makoto? We're the ones with jobs and classes, and HE has too much work to do to watch a little TV?"  
"Don't get me into this."  
"Yeah, don't get her into this."  
They continue to argue for a whole ten minutes before Artemis leaves.  
  
He comes back before the commercial break.  
  
As is now custom, Minako ends up staying the night. It's not like I'd want her to go home anyway. Her mother's been hitting the bottle far too much lately for my tastes. And then the little voice in the back of my head shouts that that's a dumb reason, but I quiet it to the best of my ability.  
  
We fall asleep on the couch. Her head's on my lap, Artemis is at my feet, I'm in an upright position. I'm not sleeping. This is so annoying.  
  
******  
  
Class isn't going well. The professor or doctor or teacher or whatever I feel like calling him today since I forgot his name again....although I never really learned it in the first place....well, anyway, he's droning on about the proper way to serve French delicacies. Pastries. No, not pastries, he insists, delicacies. If we ever have some sort of test for this class I hope I get an A for knowing it's delicacy and not pastry. I begin to wonder if I really want to make a career out of cooking. This isn't turning out to be at all what I expected.   
Minako's not waiting for me after class. I know she wouldn't be there, she's at some idol audition, but still I act sad and surprised that she's not here. I still stand around and wait for her, like maybe she'll show up.  
Instead, I spot a patch of blue bobbing up and down through the crowd. Well, it's real easy to miss too. Ami's so short, one would almost have to be looking for her to find her, even with the distinguishing hair color.  
"Ami-chan!" I cry out happily as I get in step with her.  
"Makoto!" she says, a smile gracing her features, genuine surprise. Of course she's surprised, she never sees me here. We don't go to the same college.  
"What are you doing here, Ami-chan? Don't you have classes?" She blushes and reminds me of the lecture that she was a guest speaker in today. I pretend to have forgotten. We head down to the student center for some drinks, because we both have a minute. I have more than a minute, but I know one is all Ami can spare.  
I ask her about the lecture class she was in, and she blushes as she tries to avoid the subject. A little sweet talk and she starts to go off on how the class was so responsive, and how vital a good audience is for a good conversation. Then she starts off about the intricacies of some physics thing....thermo nucleo dynamic thing-a-ma-jigs....and about how her roommate is so loud and she can hardly find enough time to study and be three chapters ahead of the class.  
I smile. Just like old times. The captured memories are nice. We both share a common period in the history of our lives....a happy time brought about by a shining star that's nice to come back to every once and awhile. So she's off with her busy schedule, and I head back to my apartment. And yes, it has occurred to me that it would be easier to live on campus but....  
  
I feel dull inside now. Like Ami could have cared less if I was there, or....if Rei had been there, or if even Hotaru of nobody had been there. I hope seeing Minako will cheer me up.  
It doesn't. The audition didn't go well, and she's upset. As I get ready to go to my part-time job I do my best to cheer her up. Can you believe I work in a convenience store? The money I inherited from my parents was a nice ride for awhile...but one of these days I knew I'd have to start taking care of myself. For the hundredth time this week Minako tells me I should just quit my job, that it's interfering with my school work, and more importantly with my "Minako time", and she doesn't like that.  
I'm almost out the door when I notice the suitcase. Minako did seem a little more upset and shook up than she usually does after a botched audition. I pause at the door. If I ignore it and go to work...if I just pretend I was tired and didn't notice I can...deal with it all later....if I just....  
I seal my fate by turning around to say goodbye.   
She's so defeated, I know something's wrong, and work be damned, she needs me right now.  
  
The first hour she just cries. Leans on my shoulder, so to speak. I sit quietly, patiently, holding her, holding her world together. She lets it fall apart, and I'm there to hold it together. I mean, she rarely ever cries, or gets upset, so I'm a little scared too. What's happened? What's happened? My mind races for the entire hour. I know it's bad, it's very bad, but I don't know what it is....the audition? Did something happen at the audition? On her way home? What happened?  
She finally lets it out, about her mother. It's her mother. Her drunken, abusive, vindictive, snooping mother. And as angry as Minako is with her, as much as she never wants to see that horrible woman again....that's still her mother. She still loves her somewhere deep inside. After all, Minako is nearly as pure hearted as Usagi, there's no way she could ever truly hate anyone.  
I just hold her. I tell her it's alright, just stay here, just stay with me. It's alright. It's alright. Strange thing is, we both actually believe it.  
  
******  
  
I'm food shopping when the communicator goes off. There's a monster attacking students at the school. Of course it's the school, because Usagi's at the school, and all monsters are naturally attracted to the pure light of her heart...if only subconsciously. That's what Ami said anyway. Well, it works out rather conveniently for Usagi then....she never has to run across half of Tokyo just to get to a battle.  
I ask the clerk if it's alright if I leave my groceries right here, I forgot something. He nods and smiles and says it's fine, and I run like crazy to get across half of Tokyo.  
Mars is laying waste to a bunch of female sleazoids when I come. Lightning is my weapon of choice....my only weapon really....and I use it to zap the last few baddies.  
Moon dusts off their leader. We agree to meet later to discuss the enemy. Then I notice Mercury's missing. Uranus snorts at my realization, and Neptune explains that Ami was very preoccupied and so they came in her stead. I nod numbly, take a quick glance to see if Venus is alright, and then run back to my groceries.....halfway across town. And people wonder how I can stay so skinny.  
  
******  
The landlord is having a fit. I'm trying to reason with him. I really am. Even though every bone in my body is telling me to just deck the fellow and be over with this.  
He doesn't want to allow Minako to live with me. He keeps going on about how he can have her rent another apartment and that would be fine, but she can't live with me. We're trying to tell him we'll pay the extra money, but Minako doesn't want her own place, she wants to live with me. He just doesn't understand. He's still going on and on about having her own place. I start examining the lines of my skin, pores, or whatever they're called...completely zoning him out. That's a trick Rei taught me to help control my anger. Focused meditation lead to focused attention, she said. I'm not really meditating, though. I'm just blocking him out.  
  
Minako thwaps my head. "You could have helped me back there!" she says as she continues up the stairs without even looking back at me. I smile, even though she won't see it. "I did help. I zoned out so that I wouldn't knock him onto his silly little--"  
"You call that helping? Geez, that guy really burns me. Why do you think he didn't want us rooming together?"  
I stare numbly at my nails and shrug. "I dunno..."  
"Well, it's all okay now. But I need a key."  
"What?"  
"I need a key....you know...to get in the door...when it's locked and you're not here...."  
Zoning out and me are bad, because I have to look at the doorknob for a good two minutes before I can register what Minako's saying.  
"Oh right...okay, we'll get you one then." I smile. She's upset, please let her smile back, please let her smile back....  
She rolls her eyes. That's not a smile. "The door is locked right NOW, Mako-chan."  
"You mean I didn't give you the key???"  
"No you didn't...why would you give me the key?" "Because...I thought I did." I'm getting the glare now. The 'oh-shit-it's-time-for-serious-Minako-to-whup-your-ass glare. I'm already retreating even further back into my mind when Artemis has suddenly appeared. He reminds Minako to check her front pocket. Said pocket produces a key. Minako blushes like crazy and starts apologizing to the wind, all seriousness aside, back to her light-hearted mask. I'm still not sure which is worse.  
Anyway, I get a free cup of tea out of the whole ordeal, so it can't have been that bad.  
  
*****  
  
"I swear it's like....we fight....just to make up...is that creepy? Do you think that's weird? Oh, tell me it's not weird, I need a normal relationship!" Usagi bubbles. She's sad, but this is Usagi...she always bubbles.....  
Rei listens, concern and curiosity clearly drawn out on her face. I'm trying to listen. I really am. Minako's listening. Why can't I listen. For God's sakes, even Setsuna's listening!.....SETSUNA!!!!  
Ami's noticeably absent. She's usually absent, but today it's noticeable. Actually, I always notice, but anyway....  
Mamoru and Usagi have hit a bump in their relationship. Setsuna is here because of some sort of consequence in the time stream that will happen if Usagi and Mamoru don't get back together. Apparently now is a very unstable and important time period, and all our choices are going to have severe consequences....or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention, it sound just like all the other urgent warnings Pluto had given us. You get bored with it after awhile.  
*Oh senshi, I am the soldier of time but I am forbidden to stop time, don't ask me to do that, oh I stopped time for Neptune and Uranus though and it's okay.*  
*Oh senshi, if you don't travel to the future and stop the evil black moon and you will die...*  
*Oh senshi, if Mamo-chan stays under this spell Chibi-Usa will never be born.*  
*Oh senshi, I cannot make things easy for you and reveal who has the talismans, no no no, you're going to have a constant superiority struggle with Neptune and Uranus because they....stupid Pluto....*  
Something nudges me. Minako. She asks me what's wrong without actually saying anything. I shake my head no and force a smile. Usagi and Rei are now talking about going shopping. Setsuna smiles, obviously life is back on track.  
Ami's still not here. I wonder why I expected her to show up....oh yeah. Because she said she would. Minako starts grilling Setsuna for information on the new enemy, but no no....she's feigning ignorance.  
The sky is getting dark and we head our separate ways. Except, of course, that Minako and I go our separate ways together.  
  
******  
  
I curse when the lightning strikes and does nothing. The same frustration Rei had just been expressing. We look at each other, the same plan forming in our head. We look at Minako, who has also picked up on our strategy. She nods. Show time.  
The monster is rather preoccupied with Uranus and Neptune, who are also having no luck, when it gets side swiped by a beam of light. Venus moves in for the kill, or maybe it's the other way around, I'm not sure. Mars and I charge up our attacks.....it's rare to have an enemy that has us work together like this. My thoughts are hardly into the battle at hand and I realize that, and I shake it all away. Focus.  
In a far away land I hear the tiny shout. Sniper. The last command Rei shouts to her fire. My ears are pounding, the electricity snapping around me. I form it into my hands, and slam the power into the ground. Pressure.  
Rei aimed high and I went low. The monster burns on two levels, chokes, and falls over. The pounding in my head grows to a crescendo and then it's quiet again. For one second nobody moves, nobody says, nobody does anything. There's peace.  
"Sailor Moon! Now!" Venus reminds her. Usagi starts to twirl around like some psychotic dancer on too much caffeine. And then bang....no more monster.  
Rei and I give each other slight smiles. It's a stupid relationship between me and her, I think. never really talking or working together unless we have senshi business. The thought forces my smile even further before we both look away at the same time. My ears have stopped ringing, the loud percussion replaced with a low humming. Minako's in a hurry to get home. Everyone is, except Rei. Probably because we all know what's coming. Pluto for sure knows what's coming, and she looks like a child after fifteen minutes of Time Out. We all know Usagi is going to get upset because her Mamoru didn't show up to help in the fight....again. We all know she's going to get upset. She's been getting upset ever since they broke up one month ago.  
It's not that we don't care about her....leaving so fast and all...it's just that after awhile you don't know what to do. You can only say, "Don't cry, Usagi, it will all be better soon, don't worry," for so long. The thing is it's not better, and it's never going to be better until those two get back together, and we know it, and she knows it, and so we just avoid each other as much as possible until they're back together.  
Minako tugs at my hand and makes an excuse for us. I can see Haruka's eyebrow go up, and I just give her a smile that pleads "get-me-out-here." The last thing I hear is Usagi grabbing onto Rei and once again sobbing her life away. That and Rei demanding Pluto find out when those two are getting back together....and Pluto once again saying that that is beyond her power....and Rei arguing that Pluto could just tell her, that she didn't have to tell Usagi....and Pluto once again....  
Strange. I know exactly what's going on, even when I'm not there. Apparently so does Minako, because just around the point where Haruka and Michiru are leaving, she pulls me into a coffee shop.  
"I need something to keep me awake. I have to...I need to stay awake...."  
"You need to study tonight?" I ask.  
"Nope...I just need to stay awake."  
I must look confused, because I am confused as to why Minako needs to stay awake. She's asking the clerk to compare the caffeine levels of French roast and vanilla bean. I would make a face of disgust, seeing as coffee's never been my thing, but I'm still too busy being confused.  
Minako finally decides to go with something called Hazelnut Chai Tea. And she even manages to get me to pay for it. I wonder how Ami's doing, and if she has more money than I do. I start to think that she must have more money than I do, her mom IS a doctor and all....when I suddenly feel guilty.  
Here I am with Minako and all I can think about is Ami. I make up for my guilty feeling by doubling Minako-chan's order. Her eyes get as big as saucers. She's so cute when she's excited.  
  
******  
stay tuned for more por favor  
this precious sanity....i believe i have lost it...he he..O_o  
tomturbo17@hotmail.com 


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